10 Lessons From My First Six Months as a Pastor

As of few weeks ago, I have been at my current church as the associate pastor for five years.  My first six months as a pastor easily contained the biggest highs, lows, praises, and criticisms of my time in ministry (at least up to that point in time).  When I think about just how much stuff happened during that time, it's kind of hard to comprehend.

Here's an edited version of a pair of blog posts I wrote back in Fall of 2009, a couple of months after I was coming off of a crazy spike in attendance in our student ministry:

25 Lessons From My First 6 Months as a Pastor - Part 1
25 Lessons From My First 6 Months as a Pastor - Part 2

01) I Can't Do Everything I Want to Do

I'm an idea person. I come up with ideas. I like other people's ideas. I like brainstorming ideas. Unfortunately, I can't do all of my ideas. I can't even do all of my good ideas.

As the intern or random member of the congregation, I always had 10 ideas for how to solve all of the churches problems. Now that I'm in leadership, I've started to realize that solving problems isn't as simple as having an idea.

Some ideas just aren't doable.

• You don't have the time
• You don't have a volunteer to delegate to
• You don't have the money
• The idea works in isolation, but it competes with other ministries in reality
• The timing is wrong
• The schedule is too busy
• The facilities don't work out

02) I Have to Trust Others With Responsibility

My tendency is to want to do everything. If I'm responsible for the outcome, I want to be in control throughout the process.

There are several problems with this.

• I can do everything...for a little while, but it's not sustainable
• I can do everything...but the quality drops on everything
• I can do everything...but I'll over-work myself
• I can do everything...but I'll rob others of their opportunity to serve and grow
• I can do everything...but I'll limit the ministry to my abilities and bandwidth

This is actually a lesson I've really learned over the last month. The ministry had strong initial success, but then it hit a plateau as I reached my capacity.

[SEAN 2014] This one's kind of funny to read now.  My definition of a plateau is rather different now.

03) It's Hard to Trust People

One of the reasons I'm struggling to hand off responsibilities is that it's hard to trust people.

04) Great Praise Comes With Greatest Criticism

This has been a painful lesson to learn. When I was just an intern, I was protected from most criticism, or I didn't do anything substantial enough to receive criticism. However, as a pastor, I quickly learned the joys and difficulties of success.

Every time a ministry has been successful or interesting enough to distinguish itself and receive praise, it's followed closely by criticism of equal magnitude. Sometimes it's been deserved. Other times it's over misunderstandings and differences of opinion. Considering what's at stake in regards to ministry, it's understandable that people would have strong opinions.

Just be ready: the greater your success, the greater the criticism.

People have opinions. So, when you do something highly visible:

• People don't always know your motives
• People assume things about your motives
• People don't know all that is going on
• People don't have all of the information
• People don't know what is going on behind the scenes

Therefore, they jump to faulty conclusions.

05) I'm Not the Star

This one is hard one to learn because it requires humility. In ministry, it should be one of the first and most obvious lessons. But sin makes us stupid, and we start to get some really dumb ideas about how awesome we are.

06) Authenticity Goes a Long Way

People aren't interested in a pretend super-Christian with all the answers. Paul didn't pretend to be a super-Christian. He confessed his struggles openly (Romans 7).

Attempting to be a super-Christian puts unneeded stress on you. I don't need to worry about being someone I'm not.

07) Rest is a Good Idea

I used to be proud of myself for my ability to keep pushing and pushing when things got busy. That strategy worked during college and with ministry internships because I only had to push for a few months; Afterwards, it was vacation time.

In full-time ministry, the pace never lets up. You can't sustain a rest-free pace indefinitely.

• I have to be intentional about stopping working
• I have to be intentional about planning time with my wife
• I have to be intentional about planning for and spreading out vacations
• I have to keep an eye on my state physically, relationally, and emotionally to know when to take time off

08) It's Hard to Rest When You're the Leader

Since the work never ends, and the pace never slows down, my brain doesn't ever want to shut down.

• I always have access to my email (via my phone)
• I'm always thinking through ministry ideas and my next talk
• I'm always pushing to get ahead...though it never happens
• I want to work when I get home
• I work on Saturdays
• I work on my days off

Some of this is because I'm motivated and energized by work. It's also because, as the point person for so many things, I feel obligated to keep working.

Rest used to be something I just did. Now, rest is a conscience choice.

[SEAN 2014] This one has gotten easier with time.  At this point, I've written hundreds of sermons, planned over a dozen retreats, and dozens of events.  It all comes much more naturally.  But I still had to choose to unplug.  So, I don't have email on my phone anymore, and I don't often check church related emails at home.

09) People Who are Older and Wiser than Me are Wiser than Me

For some reason, around age 18, I started to think I had all the answers. As it turns out, I don't have all the answers. And there are lot of people with a great deal of wisdom. I've learned to spot these people and listen to them.

10) Bible College Only Prepares You for 5% of What You Do in Ministry

Bible college did a good job of teaching me how to study and apply the Bible. That's a very important part of my job. Unfortunately, it's nowhere near my entire job

It didn't teach me to...

• Perform a wedding
• Form ministry systems
• Use photoshop
• Design a webpage
• Council a student
• Deal with a conflict and criticism
• Plan a small, medium, large, or gigantic event
• Promote an event

...the list goes on and on.

[SEAN 2014] I think I may have made up that 5% statistic.  I did not do extensive time research to verify the claim.