Five Reasons Students Abandon the Faith in College ...and what you can do to stop it!

Over the last 30 years, there has a been a growing trend of youth group kids graduating high school and graduating their faith!  While at times, some studies have exaggerated the percentage of teenagers who leave the faith after high school, the reality is that far too many kids raised in the church do leave the faith when they go to college.

While the specific reasons are countless and complicated, there are certain patterns of behavior which are consistent.  As a youth pastor, each June, I graduate a set of students and send them off into adulthood.  Right now, it seems like about 50% of my students choose to head off to college straight out of high school.  And honestly, it's pretty easy to predict which students are going to thrive, and which students are going to falter spiritually. This has nothing to do with me having a special insight into the human condition.  It's entirely related to observable patterns.

Here are five areas where new college students get themselves into trouble, and what you can do to help your student explode spiritually, rather than implode:

THEY DIDN'T HAVE A SPIRITUAL PLAN FOR COLLEGE

Maybe I'm a bit biased because the first conversation I started with my wife was asking her about churches in a city, but I'm honesty shocked at how little thought some people put into where they're going to go to church when they go to college.

Before you can go to college, you have to attend and pass 12 years of grade school.  If you choose to go off to a university, this normally involves roughly a two year process of taking the SAT & ACT, researching colleges, applying for colleges, waiting for a response, and then applying for scholarships and loans.  When you really think about it, getting into college is an incredibly long process.  In all of the planning and preparation, many people never even stop to think, "Where am I going to go to church?"until they get there.  They have no specific plan for plugging into a faith community.

Likewise, if they weren't doing things to feed themselves spiritually before they left for college, they aren't going to suddenly start when they're in a dorm room.  If daily prayer and time in the Word was a struggle back home, it will become a big struggle without the safety nets which come with parents and youth leaders nearby.  

To fully realize how important a spiritual action plan is, you must put the first month of college life into perspective.  Without question, moving into a dorm will be one of the biggest transitions of their entire life.  They're on their own for the first time.  They're far away from the parents for the first time.  They're probably in a new city.  They're surrounded by new people.  And college campuses are filled with opportunities for good things and bad things.  Everyone is competing for their time.  One of the things which WON'T feel urgent to a college freshman unless they make it a priority is going to church.  

So, what can you do?

HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO

• Before choosing a college, look into the local churches.  Every city is going to have a church of some kind, but they may not have a church your child will connect with.  This is one of the reasons I like it when my students go to Texas A&M; I can recommend a couple of great churches to them where they'll see some familiar faces from our youth group.  They also have a great on-campus ministry called Breakaway.

• Before leaving for college, pick multiple churches to check out during their first month at college.  Before they leave for college, have list prepared of churches for them to visit.  

• After they visit a few churches, have them pick one and commit to plugin for that school year.  It's not good enough that they simply attend a church.  Church isn't a service you attend once per week.  Church is something you are supposed to be a part of.  Guide them to get plugged into the community.

THEY'RE ONLY USED TO BEING PART OF A YOUTH GROUP, NOT A CHURCH

For all the many benefits of having a teenager plugged into a vibrant youth ministry, there's potential for a very big downside: the student never learns to connect with the church as a whole.  As a youth pastor who has both middle and high school classes, I definitely see value in age specific instruction.  However, long-term, teenagers need to know how to connect in a multigenerational setting.  Unfortunately, far too many teenagers and their parents view youth ministry as a replacement for plugging into the church as a whole, as opposed to an addition to plugging into the church.

The problem is that, wherever they go to college, there won't be a youth group for college students.  If students have never connected to a multi-generational service before they graduate, they haven't been prepared to connect to one after they graduate.

Therefore, attending church becomes an awkward and difficult transition.


HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO

• Starting in middle and high school, encourage your teenager to attend adult worship.
• Find a place for your teenager to serve alongside adults

THEY WERE NEVER EXPOSED TO NON-CHRISTIAN IDEAS OR EXPLORED WHY THEY BELIEVE WHAT 

Many teenagers raised in church head off to college with a very shallow knowledge of their own faith, and a highly misinformed knowledge of other's beliefs.  Perhaps they've heard a sermon where a preacher built a strawman version of Islam, and then tore that strawman to the ground.  Based off of their experience, all they have heard is about how evil and immoral non-Christians are ,and how silly other religions are.  But they really don't understand these other religions and worldviews.  Nor do they actually understand their own faith.

When they arrive at college, they meet people of other faiths who are moral, intelligent, and don't fit the mold of the stereotype they heard about in a sermon.  Suddenly, other religions and worldviews seem a lot more reasonable.  At the same time, it's not unlikely that their Christian beliefs will be challenged. 

My first year at community college, I took a philosophy class; and, if you've ever read one of those email forwards featuring an evil, secularizing professor, you know exactly what my professor was like.  Well, that's not true...my professor attacked Christianity daily, and he told stories about being a card counter in Las Vegas who was run out of town by a guy with a gun; I haven't read an email forward featuring that detail.  Anyway, there really is a category of college professors who intentionally try to attack Christianity.  

All this to say, in a very short period of time, many college freshman find their Christian faith under attack and alternative philosophies and religions seem far more reasonable.  In that context, suddenly they start to reevaluate what they believe.

HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO

• Encourage them to read some books on theology.  Perhaps even make it a weekly family devotional of sorts.  Create an environment where it's encouraged to ask questions about why we believe what we believe.
• Encourage them to ask questions about other belief systems.
• Avoid teaching them strawman, distorted versions of other religions.  
• Help them to understand that every religion and worldview has something about it which appeals to its followers.  

THEY HAVE NEW ACCESS TO SIN

This probably won't surprise you, but colleges these days are known for their ready access to casual sex, booze, and other forms of debauchery.  No matter where you go to college, there is new found access to all form of sin.  Even at the Bible college I went to, everyone knew who the partiers were.  To put that in context, the school made you sign a form saying you wouldn't drink alcohol, use tobacco, or touch the opposite sex unless you're married.  Still, everyone new stuff was going down...AT BIBLE COLLEGE!

Now imagine how much worse a public university is going to be?

It has become assumed in popular culture that part of the college experience is drinking and having sex. If you take someone who has been waiting for an opportunity to go wild without getting caught, and put them in a context where there is access, acceptance, and encouragement of wild living, they're very likely going to go wild.

Now, compound new access to sin with the previous three points:

• They aren't plugged into a Christian community
• They aren't attending a church service
• They're starting to question what they believe
• And, suddenly, they're able to do all kinds of things they were never able to do before!

Suddenly, Christianity seems like the old-fashioned, ill-informed religion of their parents.  In that context, they start to consider changing their beliefs.  An alternative belief system can seem to be very appealing.  Perhaps, after a few months of partying, they're starting to feel guilty.  

They have three options:

• Stop partying
• Keep partying, and feel guilty
• Keep partying, and abandon the beliefs which are causing their guilt

In that context, many college students choose to abandon the beliefs they were raised on.

People believe what they want to believeSo they can do what they want to do!

HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO

• Be very intentional about which school your child goes to.  Every school has partying going on somewhere, but not every school is a party school.
• Be very intentional about doing everything you can to make sure your child has a roommate who shares a Christian faith and a desire to pursue Christ.
• Help your child to connect with a Christian community as soon as possible.  For example, Texas A&M has a Christian freshman orientation program called IMPACT.  I'm not usually a big fan of "Christian versions" of things, but this seems like something where I'm all for a Christian version.
• During their middle and high school years, don't teach morality as just a set of rules. Teach a counter cultural way of living. Christ didn't model a set of rules. He modeled an entirely different way of life.  That's what you need to instill in your child before they leave your home.  Model through your life and marriage how the Christian way of life is far more satisfying and fulfilling than any blackout drunk weekend or one night stand. Show them with your life that Jesus is better!

THEY NEVER HAD A FAITH TO BEGIN WITH

This is the harsh reality: many teenagers who grew up going to church do not have a saving faith in Jesus.  Saying a prayer doesn't make you a Christian.  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian.  Being well behaved doesn't make you a Christian.

We are saved by placing our faith in Jesus!

When we put our faith in Christ, we are forgiven of our sins, raised to life spiritually, and the Holy Spirit enters our lives.  We are a new creation. 

Jesus had some very scary words to say about the road that leads to life.  

Matthew 7
14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Far too many teenagers attending church have a BORROWED FAITH!  

None of us can know for sure someone else's spiritual state, but the Bible has given us many indicators of whether someone has a true saving faith, or whether they merely acknowledge with their head there is a God.  James 2 tells us that faith without works is dead.  Has your child have any fruit in their life?  Have they ever shown drastic change of behavior for spiritual reasons? Have they ever shown spiritual interest?

HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO

• Push them to plug into church.  Don't merely push them to ATTEND church.  They need to join the community of the church.
• Find a spiritual mentor for them.  My student ministry has mid-week small groups for middle and high school students.  The purpose is to get a 2nd spiritual voice in their life.
• Be their spiritual role model. Be the person you want them to be spiritually!
• Lead them spiritually through family devotionals.

Why do you think teenagers leave the faith after high school? Comment below and let me know!